Wax on. Wax off.

Dear doctors, is it true that ear wax is made by ear bees?

—Hunny Mae

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Thanks Hunny, funny you should ask... as I went to a 6 week course on how to raise ear wax bees. Oh wait, it was honey bees. My bad. Well! Assuming you're overwhelmed with wax, I recommend these movies to charm your ear bees:

Fried Green Tomatoes (Idgie was a bee charmer)

Karate Kid (wax on. wax off. enough said)

Secret Life of Bees

Candyman (yep... bees)

Invasion of the Bee Girls (ok, I haven't seen this one... but c'mon!)

Doctor Borderless

June: Aw damn it to hell!

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No. Not true. Elves are responsible. Tiny, tiny elves. Brownies if you want to bee specific. Like Keebler but much smaller. The wax job used to bee performed by the gall bladder and was overseen by the stomach, but, like most corporations, it beecame too labor intensive and was bid out to a less expensive third party.
Speaking of tummy, stew on these sweet! films about bees and honey!
-Doc "Sting Like a Bee" Hoo

Bee Movie
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (see, it's two-fold: honey in the title & a bee swarms the kids!)
First Men in the Moon
Akeelah and The Bee (if you liked that, watch this! Spellbound)
Swarm (classic 70's horror w/an all-star cast!)
Ulee's Gold
& Belushi's Classic Killer Bees! (one of my favorites!)

Like Dude, I Need a Haircut!

Drs—I am in desperate need of a haircut, but my search to find the right scissor-wielding artist has so far been in vain. Do you have any advice for how to come to terms with my fertile follicles? —Shaggy

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Ahhhh... Haircuts! Once when I was small, my G-Paw took my brother and I to his local barber to get haircuts for the summer. I went first and was asked if I wanted a boys' haircut or a mans' haircut. Being eight years old, I opted for the mans' haircut. The whole experience lasted less than two minutes; all shears, no scissors, and walked away with a very short, fuzzy noggin'. I thought it was great, but my mom cried 'cuz I looked like I had escaped Auschwitz. My brother and G-Paw just laughed and laughed. The following are suggestions of what to look for in a scissor-wielding artist.

Remember to tip & don't let your G-Paw take you to this barber.

Dr. Fiagro! Hoo

Good Hair

Shampoo
Blow Dry

Black Shampoo (Blaxploitation baby!)
Edward Scissorhand

American Mullet (Business in the front; Party in the back!)

Barber of Seville (yes, yes, it's opera. Get over it. It's good. This version especially)

Rabbit of Seville (Bugs! Elmer! Daisies!)

Barber of Seville w/Woody Woodpecker (you've come this far, why not?)

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I have random memories of my childhood that are still very vivid. Two of which involve barbers. I'm from a town of 1400, and we had an old school barber shop, Norm's, next door to the clothing shop my mom worked at, Daisy May's (which was where I first stole something). Anyway, I always remember Norm being so nice and distracting me from time to time so my mom could work. The other memory was watching WTTW (Chicago's PBS) and I couldn't get enough of the Angela Lansbury version of Sweeney Todd. I remember thinking I was way too young to be watching this... I even asked my mom a few years back why she let me watch it so many times (I think I taped it and watched it every weekend for a while there). Her response, "At least it was performing arts...." Yep, cool points for mom on numerous levels.

Anyway, Norm's shop is no longer around and I wouldn't recommend Sweeney Todd. But maybe these movies can lead you in the right direction...

Hairspray (Ricki Lake!)

Grease (great hair-spiration and a beauty school drop out)

10 (what?)

Barber Shop

Mi Vida Loca (they have amazing hair)

The Fifth Element (Between Milla & Chris Tucker, you can't go wrong)

Doctor Borderless

Company: [singing] Swing your razor wide, Sweeney! Hold it to the skies! Freely flows the blood of those who moralize...