Like Dude, I Need a Haircut!

Drs—I am in desperate need of a haircut, but my search to find the right scissor-wielding artist has so far been in vain. Do you have any advice for how to come to terms with my fertile follicles? —Shaggy

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Ahhhh... Haircuts! Once when I was small, my G-Paw took my brother and I to his local barber to get haircuts for the summer. I went first and was asked if I wanted a boys' haircut or a mans' haircut. Being eight years old, I opted for the mans' haircut. The whole experience lasted less than two minutes; all shears, no scissors, and walked away with a very short, fuzzy noggin'. I thought it was great, but my mom cried 'cuz I looked like I had escaped Auschwitz. My brother and G-Paw just laughed and laughed. The following are suggestions of what to look for in a scissor-wielding artist.

Remember to tip & don't let your G-Paw take you to this barber.

Dr. Fiagro! Hoo

Good Hair

Shampoo
Blow Dry

Black Shampoo (Blaxploitation baby!)
Edward Scissorhand

American Mullet (Business in the front; Party in the back!)

Barber of Seville (yes, yes, it's opera. Get over it. It's good. This version especially)

Rabbit of Seville (Bugs! Elmer! Daisies!)

Barber of Seville w/Woody Woodpecker (you've come this far, why not?)

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I have random memories of my childhood that are still very vivid. Two of which involve barbers. I'm from a town of 1400, and we had an old school barber shop, Norm's, next door to the clothing shop my mom worked at, Daisy May's (which was where I first stole something). Anyway, I always remember Norm being so nice and distracting me from time to time so my mom could work. The other memory was watching WTTW (Chicago's PBS) and I couldn't get enough of the Angela Lansbury version of Sweeney Todd. I remember thinking I was way too young to be watching this... I even asked my mom a few years back why she let me watch it so many times (I think I taped it and watched it every weekend for a while there). Her response, "At least it was performing arts...." Yep, cool points for mom on numerous levels.

Anyway, Norm's shop is no longer around and I wouldn't recommend Sweeney Todd. But maybe these movies can lead you in the right direction...

Hairspray (Ricki Lake!)

Grease (great hair-spiration and a beauty school drop out)

10 (what?)

Barber Shop

Mi Vida Loca (they have amazing hair)

The Fifth Element (Between Milla & Chris Tucker, you can't go wrong)

Doctor Borderless

Company: [singing] Swing your razor wide, Sweeney! Hold it to the skies! Freely flows the blood of those who moralize...